An introverts guide to gettin’ hitched

If the thought of standing up in front of everyone you know has got you sweatin’, and the thought of walking, talking, possibly crying, and maybe even dancing, in front of everyone you know has straight up got you runnin’ for the hills (and you couldn’t possibly cull your guest-list because Aunty Sharon will throw an absolute doozy of a tantrum at your mum if your third cousin Harvey isn’t invited), then may I present to you…

“5 IDEAS FOR INTROVERTS WHO DON’T WANT TO HATE THEIR WEDDING”

Keep your eyes on the prize…

The prize being – getting married to your significant other (not that they’re a piece of meat or a trophy or anything). This is NOT gonna be like when you got forced to do the school musical in year 8. It’s not a performance.  It’s just you and your favourite person on the planet, sticking together always. There is no ‘right way’. It’s impossible to ‘do it wrong’. Vows aren’t ‘public speaking’. You don’t have to memorise anything, you don’t have to be Julia Stiles in Ten Things I Hate About You, you don’t have to be a wordsmith/person who used ‘thesaurus’ on every word they intend to say, you don’t even have to be a person who googled ‘wedding vows’. Just tell your about-to-be-spouse why you’re marrying them in your own words. And those people that are watching? Go ahead and ignore them. This bit is just for the two of you.

Share the stage…

I know, I know… I literally just said this isn’t a performance. But stage or no stage, here’s a simple truth: getting OTHER people to do things at your wedding takes the focus off YOU (for like, a bit). For some sweet sweet delicious respite during the ceremony consider a witness lucky dip, send your rings around for some warming, get someone to perform/read/give a speech, get some group vows/flash mobs/dancing in the aisles happening – there are loads of options to involve (read: distract) your nearest and dearest. Plus, this kind of community involvement has the added benefit of making the ceremony more authentic and more meaningful AND making your rad crew feel super special cause they get a moment in the spotlight (which is really just saaaaah gracious and self-sacrificing of you…;))

Drop the mic…

Weddings really are a choose your own adventure. You HAVE to say one line of legal vows out loud in the presence of your witnesses, but THAT’S IT. If you’re not keen on getting on the microphone – DON’T! Why not include some of your more personal promises as questions for your celebrant to ask you, so all you have to say is “Shit Yeah!” (or y’know…”I Do”)? How about sharing your personal promises to each other at some other time (maybe during a first look, maybe written in a card, maybe in a quiet moment after the ceremony, or at the end of the night)? Maybe even just ditch personal vows completely and stick with the legal bit? 

Stop, revive, survive…

I strongly suggest, teetering every so slightly on aggressive insistence, that you take some teeny weeny little moments alone together away from the extreme excitement of your assembled family and friends.  After you sign your certificates…walk away and hide behind a tree for a cuddle.  Once you’re down the aisle…walk away and hide behind a tree for a cuddle. Before you enter the reception…walk away. Before you cut the cake…where’s that tree at? You get the idea. Give yourselves a chance to BREATHE. Give yourselves a chance to BE. Give yourselves a chance to cheers what a freakin great thing you’ve just done. YOU DID IT. YOU’RE MARRIED!!

Look! Over here!…

Now it would truly be remiss of me not to mention that it could be veeeery handy to have someone running the show who can give it a bit of the ol’ razzle dazzle (not literally of course… unless you’re into jazz hands at your wedding…in which case…sign me up!). Find someone you feel relaxed with, someone who can guide you through the process, someone who can hold the space for you on the day so you can ride the wave, and someone who can take you and your guests along for the ride during a kick ass, engaging, warm, vibrant, fun ceremony that doesn’t make you feel WEIRD about what you’re doing. Then consider where that celebrant is going to stand. In the middle of you both might help you feel grounded, or what if they stand off to the side so that it’s like your guests are watching a tennis match – looking at you two, then looking at your celebrant, then back to you two again? Distraction is king. Comfort is key.

But most of all remember…..you do you (two), you lovely shy boos. And if you want any more tips, get in touch HERE.